(so sorry it took so long for me to continue. I have cervical disc herniation and every once in a while, I over do things and aggravate it. The pain goes down my arms, making it hard to type)
So here is the continuation of the pregnancy & delivery:
My Ob/gyn made an appointment for the day I would go to the hospital to deliver. Three nights earlier I went into false labor. The three of us, my husband, my 8 year old daughter and myself were awake for hours waiting to see if my water would break as I had contractions. It didn't so we didn't end up going to the hospital that day.
November 17th 2003 I got up early in the morning, did my hair and make up, dropped off my daughter at her aunts house and drove to the hospital with my husband. I had no signs of dilation. They started me on an i.v., an anesthesiologist who literally acted like he was the most important man on earth swaggered into my room with a God like attitude, sprawled himself on a chair and told me how lucky I was to have him take care of me. You wouldn't believe the ego on the guy. Well lets just say he was very wrong. First of all, he couldn't put the epidural needle in. After the first attempt, he complained that my muscles were too loose and that he couldn't find where the needle was supposed to go. After an agonizing period of time with me and my huge belly bent forward and a few pokes with the giant needle, the epidural was finally in and they began the pitocin in the i.v. to induce labor.
After several hours, still no dilation. They increased the pitocin and waited.
My Ob who had promised to be there for me came in and checked a couple of times during the day. Nothing was happening. They had broken my water and were inducing me but no dilation. I don't remember how many hours passed but the epidural stopped working. I was moving my legs, feeling the pain the pitocin was causing. The doctor said I shouldn't be able to feel my legs but I was. The anesthesiologist said that he'd given me the same amount of medicine they give a woman about to have a c-section. Dr. Bearg said to increase it and left. Again, I am not sure of the timeline but suddenly and intense headache crept up on me like nothing I had ever felt in my life (now to go back just a second, I had an epidual headache after delivering my first daughter as well. It was so bad I was shaking from it after she was born and they gave me strong meds and the intense headaches continued for a month afterward) But this was something indescribable! The closest description I could give is it felt like someone took an ax to my head. I had always thought childbirth was the worst pain (yes they turned off the epidural before my first daughter was born because they thought I had had too much and I felt it all)
No I guess childbirth is not the worst pain in the world. I had curled up into a ball and was holding my head. I told my sister to take my mom out of the room. She took her out with a struggle and since it was late, drove my daughter and nieces and nephews home.
So my husband and sister in law were left in the room. I kept asking for Dr. Bearg. He was nowhere to be found. The headache got so bad that I forgot all about labor pains (as the epidural was not doing anything but splitting my head open) I began to cry. ... you all don't know me but I am normally a very quiet person. It's hard to tell I am in pain. This pain was out of this world. I began to cry asking to be put out of my misery. I was begging for someone to kill me. It would get so intense that I would scream.
So much for Dr. Beargs promise of a smooth painless delivery. A nurse came in and tried to give me morphine. I screamed no at her and that I wanted Dr. Bearg! I was way beyond the walls of my demure polite self. The nurse was pissed off. Instead of trying to sooth me she retorted, "The pain must not be that bad if you are refusing drugs!" I just wanted my doctor to see what was happening. Drugs had done this to me . What was going to happen to my baby with more drugs? My husband (wimps that many men are) couldn't take the sight of my agony any longer and fled the room. I was left with my brave soul of a sister in law to soothe me. The screams of sheer agony kept coming. Somewhere in the back of my tortured mind I thought 'was I disrupting the whole hospital?'
Finally Dr. Bearg appeared. I think it was around 11 or 11:30 pm by then. I never raise my voice to anyone besides close family members. But as soon as I looked at him I cried, "Where were you? You promised not to leave me! They are killing me!" Or something of that nature. He told me I needed to push now. I couldn't comply. The pain in my head was ripping my skull apart! Finally he sat down in front of me and yanked at my legs saying"This baby is coming NOW! " He uncurled me from my fetal position and finally came the baby, all I could feel was my head. I think my mom came back in the room because I remember her slapping her hands to her face when she saw the baby.
The baby wasn't breathing. There was a team of doctors standing by with their incubator bed thingy. They took her and worked on her. I was immediately given a strong narcotic to shut me up. They got her breathing and cleaned up. I watched half consciously as she was given to either my sister in law or husband. Even through that state I had to hold her and feebly held out my arms. She was perfect. My perfect little miracle that had survived this ordeal.
I tried to nurse her but every time I did, I would have these horrible after pains that felt exactly like contractions (I didn't experience this with my first daughter)
Also, I had very severe headaches on and off for over a month after the birth.
My sister in law later told me that she went home that night and told her girls that they better not want her in the delivery room when they have kids. That she didn't think she could ever go through another delivery after what she had had to experience that night.
The next week I had a visit w/ my OB, Dr. Bearg and took Sasha with me for him to see. I told him what my primary care dr. had told me when I was 4 months pregnant...to abort. He said to me, "Well now that it's over I'll tell you I never said it but thought the same things many times during the course of your pregnancy. I've been delivering babies for over 25 years and I have never had an experience like this. This IS your last baby, ok?"
I assured him that we would not be crazy enough to try for another one again (in fact my husband got a vasectomy the very next month)
A month later I visited Dr. Bearg. He was haggard and as soon as he saw me he said something like " Would you complain about me or do you blame me for what happened at the hospital?" They had taken him and the anesthesiologist in front of the board council and the anesthesiologist had been banned from performing epidurals on pregnant woman again. I was shocked since I had not voiced any complaint. My baby and I were safe and alive that is all that mattered to me. I told him. But a voice inside me told me that it was his fault that the anesthesiologist had upped the dose so much and it was his fault that he was gone for so many hours and didn't monitor what happened to me.
I had heard of another woman who went through something similar with the epidural going wrong as I did. She had a stroke and went into a coma.