Wow, it's crazy that I haven't written on this blog in 7 years. I didn't mean let it go like that but once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator. Over the last few years I have been dealing with newer symptoms and problems attached to what I already have, such as chronic vertiginous migraines, my mom having many illnesses that doctors can't do anything about (such as a large painful cyst the size of an orange attached to her appendix that no doctor wants to touch), I've been dealing with my father being diagnosed with vascular dementia and Alzheimers which was an extremely difficult time in our lives. He passed away June 2017.
Why am I back? It's got nothing to do with my fibromyalgia/CFS or that I was diagnosed with chronic vertigo associated migraines several years ago. Maybe I will come back and write about that some day, but not today. Today I heard that I have breast cancer and I am trying my best not to freak out!
I can't tell any loved ones right now, I'm in shock and anxious and they wouldn't be able to deal with this, especially not my mom who is very emotional and had a heart attack just 4 months ago. Honestly, she is so intuitive, I don't know how I'm going to keep it from her.
I just got news from my doctor about breast biopsy results. I have stage 2 invasive breast cancer. I don't have large breasts or history of breast cancer in the family, especially not at my age.
After dealing with digestive issues since I was a teenager then getting this damned fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue/ vertiginous migraine disease since I was 30 and dealing with it's disabling symptoms 24/7, cancer was the LAST thing I was expecting. Even though the surgeon was telling me not to beat myself up, it may not have showed on an earlier mammogram, I can't help but feel, if I had gotten a mammogram at least once a year, this lump may have been detected before it grew cancerous. Last year I told my obgyn that my breast were painful and asked whether she thought I needed a mammogram and she said no. I blame her too. When you are in your 40's, you SHOULD be getting mammograms, though not too often because of the radiation. But I hadn't had one in 8 yrs. Why? Because I never THOUGHT I would get breast cancer. I was too busy dealing with headaches, fatigue, dizziness, aches, my mother's illnesses, my father's dementia to even be bothered. Now on top of all this I need to get radiation and chemo and I don't even know what else!
I am scared. Scared of side effects of the medications because I can't even take simple pills most people can. Scared of it spreading. But mostly my fear is that I have 2 kids. and what if I don't make it? I was never afraid of dying until I had children.
All you women out there, get your mammograms done, don't be like me.
Sorry to be writing this gloomy stuff. But I needed to share with people who wouldn't freak out yet maybe know what I'm going through right now.
Why am I back? It's got nothing to do with my fibromyalgia/CFS or that I was diagnosed with chronic vertigo associated migraines several years ago. Maybe I will come back and write about that some day, but not today. Today I heard that I have breast cancer and I am trying my best not to freak out!
I can't tell any loved ones right now, I'm in shock and anxious and they wouldn't be able to deal with this, especially not my mom who is very emotional and had a heart attack just 4 months ago. Honestly, she is so intuitive, I don't know how I'm going to keep it from her.
I just got news from my doctor about breast biopsy results. I have stage 2 invasive breast cancer. I don't have large breasts or history of breast cancer in the family, especially not at my age.
After dealing with digestive issues since I was a teenager then getting this damned fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue/ vertiginous migraine disease since I was 30 and dealing with it's disabling symptoms 24/7, cancer was the LAST thing I was expecting. Even though the surgeon was telling me not to beat myself up, it may not have showed on an earlier mammogram, I can't help but feel, if I had gotten a mammogram at least once a year, this lump may have been detected before it grew cancerous. Last year I told my obgyn that my breast were painful and asked whether she thought I needed a mammogram and she said no. I blame her too. When you are in your 40's, you SHOULD be getting mammograms, though not too often because of the radiation. But I hadn't had one in 8 yrs. Why? Because I never THOUGHT I would get breast cancer. I was too busy dealing with headaches, fatigue, dizziness, aches, my mother's illnesses, my father's dementia to even be bothered. Now on top of all this I need to get radiation and chemo and I don't even know what else!
I am scared. Scared of side effects of the medications because I can't even take simple pills most people can. Scared of it spreading. But mostly my fear is that I have 2 kids. and what if I don't make it? I was never afraid of dying until I had children.
All you women out there, get your mammograms done, don't be like me.
Sorry to be writing this gloomy stuff. But I needed to share with people who wouldn't freak out yet maybe know what I'm going through right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment